Man

Man.

In our anger we’ve pointed our fingers at you.  We’ve said your privilege is the root of the crime. 

I've started to see it differently, I’m sorry. 

You carry the world on your shoulders. Its weight has left you limping, but that’s how you’ve been taught to lead. Culture has made it this way. Sure, much of it was handed to you, but were you even asked? You don’t seem any happier than the rest. I watch as you provide until your body is beaten and mind isn’t sober. 

“No tears. Don’t fear. No stress. I’ll carry it. I’ll fix it,” you say emotionless. Yet, there’s a gun in your hand because no one held it in the first place. You climb a ladder that eventually collapses on top of everyone around you. You eventually die and bring the rest of us down, too. 

We’ve found you can’t bear the burden honestly while still being ‘a man’. 

I’m sorry that in the fight against patriarchy we never stopped to ask if you were hurting too. 

Man, we’ve missed you. 

The man in the pulpit looks like you, but he preaches past you. We haven't shared the same table, so we’ve lost the same language. We keep missing one other’s cues. I’m sorry. 

I tried to lead more like the prescribed you and I let go of my instinctual gut for danger and shoved down tears that we would have cried together. I could have led honestly, but I didn’t because I was told otherwise. I’m sorry.

Man, what a gift you are. 

You’re soft and tender. You’re strong in emotion. Your tears help you remember. You’re brave and would often opt for second place. You simply want to know you’re loved and capable, just like me. You want to share the weight of it all, your humanity. 

Neither of us is getting the abundant life we’ve bargained for. That’s the truth. And the longer I spend fighting you I’m fighting myself, too. 

So what about this? What if you showed up as fully you?  And I showed up as fully me? What if we drew outside the thick lines? So many women are waiting around for your permission, but what if it is our permission to give? You can let go. You can live.  

This is what I do know. 

Man, you are good. 

Man.